With most “men” we meet, we give them a part of ourselves. We often wear our heart on our sleeves, express our vulnerability, and expect them to cherish us the way we’ve visualized a “man” should.
Trust me, I know he should.
Every boy we meet isn’t supposed to win our hearts. Your heart is made of gold. Be selfish. You deserve to be loved, too.
It’s such a relief how much I’ve learned to love me. I used to be a girl who looked for love in every man, but truthfully, I didn’t love me. Now, I’ve never wanted more for myself. To be more than a “decent” human being. I want to touch hearts. Be successful. Learn more about myself. What kind of books I like to read. Get out of my comfort zone. Go somewhere I’ve never been before, alone and breathe fresh air without sharing it. I’ve learned to be OK with sleeping alone, making myself dinner and enjoying a glass of wine, shutting myself off from the world and meditate. Become more at peace with every situation I’ve been in. Cry myself to sleep without making it known. I’ve learned to appreciate my own company. Eat healthier. I’ve learned to keep my circle small because not everyone deserves me. I’ve learned to let go of negative poison. I’ve learned to no longer fight for someone who wouldn’t fight for me. I’ve learned to be a nicer person. I’ve learned to accept the ones I love for themselves. I’ve learned I am not meant for every person I cross paths with, regardless if I’ve loved them once. I’ve learned to keep my business to myself. I’ve learned my heart is pure no matter what mistakes I’ve made and the hurt I’ve caused. I’ve learned to forgive myself.
Not every boy you meet wants to know you, and I mean the whole you.
I wish men took more into consideration and thought about your past.
Who you are as a whole and not just the admiration of your smile and your breasts, but behind your golden eyes that yearn for a man to look further than that.
Men, what makes her cringe? What does she think about as she’s taking a hot shower? What makes her heart ache? What makes her insecure? Why is she insecure? Why does she have trust issues? Who has made her doubt love? What is love to her? Does she sleep well at night? What runs through her mind at late hours? Ask her about her dreams. Her goals in life. Her aspirations. Her fantasies. What are her parents like? What kind of relationship does/did she have with her father and mother? What’s something she loves about herself? Was she ever touched inappropriately as a child? What makes her unable to open up about her body?
There are so many details behind every human and I believe it’s important to understand every person has depth. A history; their background. A troubled childhood. Failed love and losses.
In our generation, we often lack that importance of truly getting to know someone on an emotional level. Not just what’s on surface, but behind the beauty you see and the front of success and happiness.
Men, allow her to open up to you. Get to genuinely know her and her secrets. Keep them close to your heart and never speak negatively about them. Be her journal. Be her counselor. Her best friend. Someone she can call at late hours to tell you why she’s been crying all night or about the terrible dream she had. Someone she can comfortably be herself with and wants to show you off like a trophy.
Ladies, this is for you. You are important and your heart is a delicate and beautiful flower. Put yourself first, always. You will find your dream man when you’ve given yourself the love you deserve.